Right now I am reading John Steinbeck's novel East of Eden. I decided to change my thesis topic a few weeks ago which meant abandoning Don Quixote for Steinbeck; but have no fear, I have maintained Dostoevsky in the overall scheme of things. Anywho...I read East of Eden my junior year of high school, making this the second that I've read the book. Since I have to actually pay attention this go-round, I am noticing quotes that are rather profound and applicable to my current state of being, such as this one:
"Time interval is a strange and contradictory matter in the mind. It would be reasonable to suppose that a routine time or an eventless time would seem interminable. It should be so, but it is not. It is the dull eventless times that have no duration whatever. A time splashed with interest, wounded with tragedy, crevassed with joy-- that's the time that seems long in the memory. And this is right when you think about it. Eventlessness has no posts to drape duration on. From nothing to nothing is no time at all."
So obviously it is summer. Duh, I mean just look at a calendar, and even though the technical first day of summer isn't until the 21st, schools are out and swimming pools are open and the beach traffic officially is the sole cause of global warming. But what does it mean to be on summer vacation? Adults with actual full-time jobs don't get three months off of work. There is such a thing as "summer school" so the classrooms aren't all collecting dust. The mailman AND the garbage man still have to roam the toasty pavement. And don't forget all those people who work in retail, *cough, cough*, who still have to trudge into their stores and/or local offices to serve the general population of teeny-boppers who just like omg loooooove to walk around the mall and mess up everything in sight only to buy like this totally hottt pair of earrings...... sorry. CLEARLY I harbor a deep seeded grudge against those people when I am the one who has to be nice and friendly when they walk in.
So again, I ask- What is "summer vacation"? I think for a lot of people, summer IS that eventlessness. Ask anyone how their summer has been thus far and I bet nine out of ten people would respond "It's too fast," or "I can't believe June is almost over," or my favorite "We need to start keeping an eye out for those back-to-school sales". For me, I Literally Cannot Believe June is almost over. I got out of school on May 1st this year. MAY FIRST. That means that I have had over a month and a half of vacation so far, and that is mind boggling.
I think Steinbeck has really hit something with his above quotation. When my boyfriend booked his trip to come visit me earlier this month, every.single.day between booking and arriving dragged on like a freaking snail. And then it was like I was stuck in a time warp, because NOW I can't believe next week I am leaving for Charlotte to celebrate my birthday. Between boyfriend and birthday I have been stuck in a daily rut of wakeup, drink some tea, eat some Captain Crunch, shower, eat lunch, read read read read research reseach, watch TV, nap, dinner, readdddddd, TV, journal, bed. Wake up and do it all again. And you know what? My time is flying faster than a jet plane, or Superman. BUT, now that I am leaving in a week, the time warp has snapped open and dumped me back into Snailville.
Sure, occasionally I do something daring like go to the movies or, shockingly, work. But when there is nothing life changing or even entertaining, it's like the days slip through my fingers and I find myself every night grasping for something that has already come and passed. People always say "Live each day like it is your last." But how do you do that when, truly, there isn't enough hours in a day, days in a week, weeks in a month, etc.etc.? If I did something exciting and adventurous and different every single day, I wouldn't have the time or energy to fulfill my daily thesis requirements. So when your days comprise of nothing to nothing, how do you reconcile that with the societal expectations to have the Best Summer EVER? I am bored most of the time, but what am I supposed to do to fix that?
If someone out there in the grand cosmos, or even in the tri-state area has the answer, I would be much obliged to be let in on the secret.
Sincerely,
Me
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